Surviving the Holidays - Karlage Style

I'm back in Memphis, but its not like Christmas didn't try to kill me. Seriously.

I drove home early Christmas Eve morning, though not as early as my dad would have liked it to be. Thanks for that text message at 4am, Dad. It was raining...HARD. I would rather drive in snow than rain. You see, 3 years ago in Kansas I was driving on K-10 towards Kansas City in a horrendous rain storm. Apparently my tires sucked because I hydroplaned and pulled a winning Nascar move; I spun across the approximate 50 foot grass median and by the grace of God landed going in the correct direction on the other side of K-10. I never found out how many times I did a complete 180, but I'm thinking somewhere around.....18. Anyway...ever since that awesome maneuver, I drive white knuckled with raised blood pressure in rain storms.

I got home about 3:30 and had to face the biggest wrestling match of all: Junior vs. the Great Dane. Junior loves other dogs, so he hopped right out of the car and sprinted towards Heilyn, my sister's new dog. So Junior is, what, a foot off the ground? Cute, cuddly, fluffy, etc. Heilyn is a HORSE. He's 120 pounds of big pansy dog. But when he plays, he likes to swat with his paws. Junior being 20 pounds didn't stand a chance. So Junior runs away growling. Neat. It took an hour and a half to finally get them comfortable around each other...then we progressed inside. We had bets on if the Christmas tree or new 48 in flat screen was going to tumble first.

That night was Christmas with my Mom's side. And that's where it started. BUCKEYES. COOKIES. DELICIOUSNESS. And I even found room for dinner that night. After being miserable, opening presents, and hanging with the fam, we went home for our Christmas. New tradition for the Karlage's...having Christmas on Christmas Eve! Usually we do Christmas morning, but all Dad had to say was "you'd get to sleep in an extra hour"....SOLD! Sign me up!

It was an AMAZING Christmas....I got way spoiled (I said it Mom). I was set up with new bike pedals and lots of winter cycling gear! Got a few other things...and lastly I opened THIS:

Yep...that's Junior. Not just a picture framed, no. That would be easy. This was months of slaving each night under fluorescent light and magnifying glasses (my poor blind mother). It's a cross-stitched pictured of JUNIOR! What better than my own pup-a-lup sewn into history. Or something like that. He's so darn cute. Then I got the whole story about how my Mother took this project with her everywhere and now everyone wanted to see the finished product. Pssh. You just want to see my awesome dog. Someone nominate me as President of the "Creepy Dog Mom" club...cause I just passed all y'all. Liz, this includes your shopping at Whole Foods for dog food.

Christmas Day arrives complete with an extra hour of sleep, and an aching back due to the futon I slept on. We headed to my Gram's house for the Karlage craziness that is Christmas. After gorging ourselves on unhealthy amounts of food (including goetta!), we opened more presents. CROCK POT! Yay for awesome gifts. Happy birthday 8 pound, 6 ounce sweet baby Jesus. I really did intend on running this day, but then Gram pulled out the buckeyes. And the slippery slope just turned me upside down. If you do not know what buckeyes are, then a.) I feel sorry for you, and 2.) google the damn things and BE JEALOUS. After consuming approximately.......too many buckeyes, I felt ill and decided running would not be a good idea. Christmas night was filled with yet another delicious meal and finally it was home to sleep all of the food off.

The next day was awesome, cause I didn't get out of my pajamas the whole day. Food hangover might just be worse than alcohol hangover. And that night, my body either revolted or I licked the wrong floor because I got the WORST 24 hour flu bug EVER. I will not go into details, but I lost 10 pounds in 18 hours.

So after no training because my body was shot after the food I consumed, and then un-consumed, I felt like total hell. What else would make a woman feel better? SHOPPING! Mama and I went to the mall and I spent some Christmas money.

That night, my sister, brother, mother and me stayed up until 1:30am playing rockband. I was the drummer and I got mad skillzzzzzz.

All the sudden, it was time to return to Memphis. I swear my drive was twice as long on the way back. Maybe it was because Junior hated me even more for making him do that drive twice in one week...I don't know. I finally made it home last night at 6:30pm. I may have lost a few battles, but dammit I won the war on Christmas.

Oh, I also found out that I'm infected. With the epstein barr virus...aka mono. COOL. I wanted to blame it on being a stressed, obese, broke, caffeine addicted dog owner suffering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, but its just mono. Although, if it last for another few months, then it really will be Chronic Fatigue Syndrome! I don't know why that excites me, because it just means there really isn't anything they can do for me. Awesome. I'm taking stock in Rockstar Energy drink. Or coffee. Or both.