P.S. I'm the friend she refers to calling one mile into the 14 mile run :) And I'm sure I'll be calling her over the next year.
Guidance I Received, What I Learned, What I Wish I Knew & Advice I Should Have Listened To:
-You only get ONE first IronMan.
-Jelly fish don't hurt. That bad.
-In the 4 weeks before my race I was admitted to the hospital, puked and pooped my guts out, got the worst sinus infection I've ever had. In that time I swam less than 3000 yards, biked no more than 90 minutes, and ran less than 10 miles- TOTAL. Rest is your friend. When you've been training for a year, a 4 week taper is just fine.
-Let people go the first 30 miles on the bike. You'll pass them back in the last 30.
-People get hurt doing IronMan. People die in the race. This is serious shit.
-Get the tattoo. It will be the most meaningful one you'll ever have.
-Do the race with a buddy. He/she will become one of your best friends, and ultimately, the only person in the weeks leading up to the race you don't want to choke.
-You'll cry when you see them finish even if you don't cry for your own.
-Aero wheels are good.
-If you don't have aero wheels don't worry, you'll pass people with aero wheels and helmets anyway.
-Sodium. You need it. Start taking it at least two days before your race.
-Ride your bike over 100 miles before the race. Twice.
-Take Tylenol, Advil, whatever. You'll want an emergency stock for bike and run.
-Develop a nutrition plan. Train with it. Use it exactly as you have trained during the race.
-The most expensive part of an IronMan? Nutrition. Gels, bars, salt tabs. Not to mention your grocery bill will double.
-Apply for sponsorships. You might be surprised what you get.
-Modesty does not apply to you.
-You will poop in the woods when you train. It might happen in the race. Train to poop in the woods.
-It's ok to piss on yourself.
-Be flexible.
-Don't budge.
-You will eventually piss on yourself even if you don't want to.
-You don't need toenails. Hell, you don't need pinky toes. They serve no purpose.
-Take you time in the finish chute. Celebrate the moment.
-Unless you have a superb base fitness (Leslie), you will want a 30 week training plan. Use the first 10 weeks to ease into schedule.
-Prepare to give up your social life. Not a little- all the way. I wasn't fully committed to my training until I stopped the after work happy hours, the Saturday night movies before a long ride, and stopped seeing my friends all together. Training doesn't stop when you take your run shoes off.
-Make sure your spouse is with you 100%. You can't do this by yourself if you don't live by yourself.
-Understand the new meaning of being poor.
-Invest in 10-12 pairs of quality running socks. You will never have enough.
-Get a condo/house as close to the race site as possible. Like, walking distance close. Parking is a bitch, and just loading up the car is even worse.
-You will want to cook for yourself, have a refrigerator/freezer and oven.
-Day after race buffalo chicken pastry puffs are good.
-The day after the day after race buffalo chicken pastry puffs is NOT good.
-When your race website converts for the next year's race, your heart will break.
-Death before DNF (unless there is a physical emergency.)
-Don't get psyched out by all the fit people. Someone there is looking at you thinking "I wish I was as fit as her"
-Don't run/ride the day after a race. It doesn't make you look like a hard ass, it just makes you look like an ass.
-Finisher's merchandise costs twice as much as you would think and sells out even faster.
-IronMans are hard. No, seriously.
-The pre-race pasta party and mandatory meeting are not mandatory and the food is bad. Go anyway. Prepare to stand in line, sit in tightly packed chairs, and listen to foreign people talk in your ear. Same for the post race awards party.
-Call your friend 10hrs away less than one mile into a 14 mile weeknight run bawling because you're scared and tired and not sure of yourself. She will make you feel better. Repeat next week.
-Repeat for next 12 weeks.
-Call from 8 weeks on telling her how ready you are.
-You will explain what and IronMan is, and how long it is no less that 2,378 times in the year before your race.
-People will still ask you if it's hard.
-Get used to being called Crazy. Maybe even stupid.
-You will feel the need to do another one. Immediately.
-You might not get your special needs bags back, so don't plan on it.
-Water is your friend. Drink it. All day, every day.
-If you have visitors stay at your house, make sure that they understand you have to (run, swim, bike, lift) at x day for x hours. Don't waffle.
-Dont be upset when they think you're being a bad hostess. You are. Go with it.
-Your mind can be your worst enemy. It can be your best friend.
-Visualize your race. Do this at least once a week starting about 3 months out. Do it every night for 30 days before your race. Go through every situation possible.
-No body cares about Ironman as much as an Ironman and a to-be Ironman. Don't drive your spouse/coworkers/friends/dogs crazy talking about.
-Other IronMen love to hear about it. Talk excessively to them about it.
-Don't finish in the daylight. You'll miss out on a glow stick.
-You'll want socks on the bike. Even if you have never used them before, you will want them.
-Long runs will kill your legs. Longest run should be no later than 5-6 weeks out. Don't be afraid of a 18 or 22 mile run. Be very afraid of a 20.
-If, on a 20 mile run, you find yourself sitting on a park bench in the middle of the day in Brookside, and you still have 4 miles to go, do not despair. Someone will walk by with their 70 lb bulldog named Snuggles. Snuggles will be wearing a tutu. You will stop crying.
-Older, fatter people will beat you.
-Younger, fitter people will beat you.
-Wash ALL of the sand off your body before you get dressed for the bike.
-You are somebody's hero before you even race.
-You will be your own hero when you finish.
-The local race venue WalMart will run out of easy open Gatorade bottles. It doesn't matter, they don't carry the flavor you want anyway.
-Inevitably the day after the race, you will be wearing a finisher's hat and shirt, and you will walking like your entire foot fell off. You will be smiling.
-Somebody will ask you if you raced. You'll be so happy you won't even be a sarcastic ass back.
-Congratulate other racers the day after, the night of, even in the finish chute.. They did the same distance you did.
-IM will be your number 1 priority. The house chores, the husband, the friends, the cat, even your job. Things that SHOULD be a number priority no longer will be. Don't kid yourself. You can't make it all the top priority.
-You don't like cleaning as much as you like running.
-You'll watch a re-run of the previous season's American Idol and think that it's current and live.
-Buy a DVR or say goodbye to an entire season of Grey's, Housewives, and Nip/Tuck. Unless it's an episode involving IM. Still waiting on Housewives to do a show with that.
-You will lose weight and increase muscle.
-Your periods might stop. You are not pregnant.
-You will find yourself mooing at cows in fields during rides. You will panic when you realize that bull actually did just run through that fence.
-You will find out that your anaerobic threshold doubles when said bull is running behind you. Up Hill.
-Stay for the last finisher.
-Cry when the clock turns to 17:00 and you can still see people coming in.
-Frank Farrar and Madonna Budder are amazing. Learn from them. They have a lot to teach and even more to say.
-All the hard work, the countless hours of training, the missed dinners with family, the vacations trips you passed up. all of it will be worth the sacrifice of becoming an IronMan.
