The race before the race

Yesterday I get a text from Courtney asking me to look up someone's race number. She thought it was a pro and wanted me to find out the name of the GUY. Turns out, she read the number wrong because when I looked up number 31, it was actually a woman. But that's a whole other story.

Come to find out, apparently there is a competition to come up with the most ridiculous (most of them not real) job title possible. Silly me, I put "student". Here's a list of the best (or worst, however you want to look at it) in no particular order from Ironman Florida participants:

BADMUTHA (Someone's full of themselves)
DEAD BEAT HOUSE HUSBAND (I'm sure his wife appreciates him being honest!)
JAPANESE GAME SHOW CONTESTANT (Now that sounds pretty sweet)
BEER TASTER (How do I get that job???)
COUCHWEIGHT (I actually know people who would excel at this position)
FEISTY GRADUATE STUDENT (I definitely should have put this!)
BAMF (Another person full of themselves...*sigh*)
COOKIE MONSTER (hahahahahhahha)
STINGRAY WRANGLER (apparently there are a lot of wranglers in the triathlete world..you'll see)
GIGALO (also lots of these...)
MONEYSHOTFLUFFER (WOW)
ADULT ENTERTAINMENT (DANCER) (That's kind of bold...)
DRUG DEALER (hope they don't come after you dude...)
HERDER OF CATS (um....)
MER...MAN (should do well on the swim, eh?)
JELLYFISH WRANGLER (that's 2 for the wrangler list!)
ROCK FARMER (How's that working out for you?)
PROFESSIONAL SNIPE HUNTER (Does "Professional" really make a difference here?)
DAREDEVIL (You're in the right sport, then!)
MALE EXOTIC DANCER (I'm going to have Courtney take a picture just to prove it...)
USED CONDOM SALESMAN (This has GOT to be the most creative! I hope its not a real job..)
WILD LLAMA TAMER (HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA)
WIFE LOVER (Someone got MAJOR points for this one, unless he's talking about OTHER people's wives....)
I DON`T KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO WHEN I GROW UP (*Note: this person is in the age 35-39 category...)
SEMI PRO BINGO CALLER (Didn't realize there is a semi pro AND pro circuit....)
CHIHAUHAU WRANGLER (#3)
ICE CREAM TASTE TESTER (Ok I'll take this job over the beertaster)
HOMEY (Loser...)
GOAT WRANGLER (#4)
ROCKET SCIENTIST (Actually, there were 3 listed..so that's why NASA is sucking these days, they're all training for Ironmans!)
WILD LLAMA (Watch out for the wild llama tamer!!)
SECRET AGENT (This is FOR SURE my favorite one!!!!!)
BED WETTER (hahahahahaha)
SMOKIN' HOT NASCAR WIFE (liar)
SUPER FLY MONKEY (WHAT?!?!?!)
SICK F**K (At least he's honest...a little too honest maybe)
MICKEY MOUSE'S LACKEY (hahahahahahhaha)
MAN BEAST (yeeeeahh....)
MIME (HAHAHHAAHHAHAH)
TURTLE HEARDER (Turtles and cats...hmmm...)
EVIL VILLAIN (get out your lazer gun!)
BAD WIFE (Her husband must have signed her up....)
LUMBER JACK (This dude's from Atlanta...I expected North Dakota....)

Last night I was almost in tears laughing so hard at these. I mean, you can't make these up! I might have to do another IM just to come up with a really good profession.....