Surviving the Holidays - Karlage Style

I'm back in Memphis, but its not like Christmas didn't try to kill me. Seriously.

I drove home early Christmas Eve morning, though not as early as my dad would have liked it to be. Thanks for that text message at 4am, Dad. It was raining...HARD. I would rather drive in snow than rain. You see, 3 years ago in Kansas I was driving on K-10 towards Kansas City in a horrendous rain storm. Apparently my tires sucked because I hydroplaned and pulled a winning Nascar move; I spun across the approximate 50 foot grass median and by the grace of God landed going in the correct direction on the other side of K-10. I never found out how many times I did a complete 180, but I'm thinking somewhere around.....18. Anyway...ever since that awesome maneuver, I drive white knuckled with raised blood pressure in rain storms.

I got home about 3:30 and had to face the biggest wrestling match of all: Junior vs. the Great Dane. Junior loves other dogs, so he hopped right out of the car and sprinted towards Heilyn, my sister's new dog. So Junior is, what, a foot off the ground? Cute, cuddly, fluffy, etc. Heilyn is a HORSE. He's 120 pounds of big pansy dog. But when he plays, he likes to swat with his paws. Junior being 20 pounds didn't stand a chance. So Junior runs away growling. Neat. It took an hour and a half to finally get them comfortable around each other...then we progressed inside. We had bets on if the Christmas tree or new 48 in flat screen was going to tumble first.

That night was Christmas with my Mom's side. And that's where it started. BUCKEYES. COOKIES. DELICIOUSNESS. And I even found room for dinner that night. After being miserable, opening presents, and hanging with the fam, we went home for our Christmas. New tradition for the Karlage's...having Christmas on Christmas Eve! Usually we do Christmas morning, but all Dad had to say was "you'd get to sleep in an extra hour"....SOLD! Sign me up!

It was an AMAZING Christmas....I got way spoiled (I said it Mom). I was set up with new bike pedals and lots of winter cycling gear! Got a few other things...and lastly I opened THIS:

Yep...that's Junior. Not just a picture framed, no. That would be easy. This was months of slaving each night under fluorescent light and magnifying glasses (my poor blind mother). It's a cross-stitched pictured of JUNIOR! What better than my own pup-a-lup sewn into history. Or something like that. He's so darn cute. Then I got the whole story about how my Mother took this project with her everywhere and now everyone wanted to see the finished product. Pssh. You just want to see my awesome dog. Someone nominate me as President of the "Creepy Dog Mom" club...cause I just passed all y'all. Liz, this includes your shopping at Whole Foods for dog food.

Christmas Day arrives complete with an extra hour of sleep, and an aching back due to the futon I slept on. We headed to my Gram's house for the Karlage craziness that is Christmas. After gorging ourselves on unhealthy amounts of food (including goetta!), we opened more presents. CROCK POT! Yay for awesome gifts. Happy birthday 8 pound, 6 ounce sweet baby Jesus. I really did intend on running this day, but then Gram pulled out the buckeyes. And the slippery slope just turned me upside down. If you do not know what buckeyes are, then a.) I feel sorry for you, and 2.) google the damn things and BE JEALOUS. After consuming approximately.......too many buckeyes, I felt ill and decided running would not be a good idea. Christmas night was filled with yet another delicious meal and finally it was home to sleep all of the food off.

The next day was awesome, cause I didn't get out of my pajamas the whole day. Food hangover might just be worse than alcohol hangover. And that night, my body either revolted or I licked the wrong floor because I got the WORST 24 hour flu bug EVER. I will not go into details, but I lost 10 pounds in 18 hours.

So after no training because my body was shot after the food I consumed, and then un-consumed, I felt like total hell. What else would make a woman feel better? SHOPPING! Mama and I went to the mall and I spent some Christmas money.

That night, my sister, brother, mother and me stayed up until 1:30am playing rockband. I was the drummer and I got mad skillzzzzzz.

All the sudden, it was time to return to Memphis. I swear my drive was twice as long on the way back. Maybe it was because Junior hated me even more for making him do that drive twice in one week...I don't know. I finally made it home last night at 6:30pm. I may have lost a few battles, but dammit I won the war on Christmas.

Oh, I also found out that I'm infected. With the epstein barr virus...aka mono. COOL. I wanted to blame it on being a stressed, obese, broke, caffeine addicted dog owner suffering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, but its just mono. Although, if it last for another few months, then it really will be Chronic Fatigue Syndrome! I don't know why that excites me, because it just means there really isn't anything they can do for me. Awesome. I'm taking stock in Rockstar Energy drink. Or coffee. Or both.

Return of the Swim Test

This week is test week #1 of the 2009 season.

I know what you're thinking...How does this work when it's still 2009? The answer to that? My coach has magic powers...or something like that.

Anyway, today was swim test day. You remember me writing about this before...10x100's with 10 seconds rest in between. At first glance, 10 seconds seems like a decent amount of time to rest, right? Well you do this damn test and tell me how 10 seconds feels. Yeah, that's what I thought.

I warmed up and already had a bad feeling about the test. Call me Miss Optimism. You see, until 2 weeks ago, the last time I had swam was the last stroke I took in the might Ohio during a little event I like to call IRONMAN LOUISVILLE. But I digress.

So here's a short recap of the test:

#1 - Ok, let's get back into this...I feel ok.

#2 - A little bit harder, and seriously? I have 8 more of these??!

#3 - Ok this SUCKS. Lactic acid is building and I hate triathlon...I quit. That's it.

#4 - GET WITH IT ROBYN. Nearly half way. Suck it up, you did a damn Ironman for Pete's sake.

#5 - Once I finish this one, I'll be halfway! YAY! Wait...ONLY HALFWAY?!?!

#6 - Ok over halfway, here we go. I wonder who came up with this damn test anyway? I'm going to ask Coach because - CRAP I was thinking so much to myself that I nearly swam right into the wall...must...remember...to...flip....SOONER.

#7 - What's this, like 75% done? Wow am I ever optimistic. I'm dreaming of my Brownie Batter Protein powder...yes that DOES exist.

#8 - Ok this one actually feels good! Hey, one out of ten isn't bad, right? Ok, it is.

#9 - Oh man, I'm about to DIE. My heart is beating out of my chest, I sound like a 2-pack a day smoker when I touch the wall, and it's kind of embarrassing for people to see the personal trainer nearly drowning. Am I there yet?

#10 - LAST ONE! Only 4 laps. Anyone can do 4 laps. Hell Junior could do 4 laps if there was a Tiny Squeaky Tennis Ball at the end of it (see previous post). Ok, now 3 laps left. HOLY HELL my lungs are about to burst. I hope that dude I'm supposed to take the body fat on isn't here yet...ok 2 more laps...a 50! I can do a 50! Keep pulling...dammit woman get your stroke together; this is highly inefficient. Last lap. Kick kick kick. I think I just dislocated something that shouldn't have been dislocated...and DONE!

As I leaned against the cool pool gutter (spitting into the drain nearby with people looking at me like I was disgusting even though there were not one, but TWO band aids right next to the drain) I was so thankful to have a large lung capacity. It took me so long to catch my breath and I felt so out of shape, but also good that I was finally done with that. More importantly, I was very very happy that my watch didn't magically stop like it had done last week during a swim.

So, thank you Coach for finding this ridiculous swim test that makes my head want to explode. Next up...bike test. Another super fun "try to kill yourself in 20 minutes and tell me how close your heart came to exploding" test.

P.S. This is what happens when you give your dog a bath when its like -385 degrees outside...you must swaddle him....in a pink blanket.

Tiny Tennis Balls

Apparently an Elf game of tiny tennis broke out in my living room.

Now, I know my dog is spoiled, but really? 8 tiny tennis balls between two rooms?

He keeps walking past them, sniffing them, and going about his merry way. I say "Junior, get your ball!" and he looks at me like "which one woman...damn there are EIGHT OF THEM!!"

You see, buying tiny tennis balls are like buying shoes, or travel coffee mugs, or socks...you can never have enough. The real reason is that Junior likes things that squeak. I buy the tiny squeaky tennis balls. I suppose I could buy the bigger ones, but really, the tiny ones are just too cute! Especially when he tries to fit two in his mouth at once because he REALLY doesn't want me to have one. But I digress.

The tiny squeaky tennis balls (which I will now refer to as TSTB) come in packs of three. We all know good things come in threes: three wisemen, three bean salad, three stooges, etc. Anyway, Junior has it down to a solid 4.5 minutes of desqueaking all three TSTB's. Once they're desqueaked, he looks at them like a car that has just been driven off the lot: they just lost half their value. Sure, he'll play with them. But I think he does it just because I had just bought them. Soon enough, they'll be laying around with the rest of the TSTB's, looking like a TSTB machine had been serving tennis balls to Barbie Doll's.

I actually bought a set of TSTB's a few days ago for Junior for Christmas. When we got home, he looked at me and gave me the look of "I know what's in that bag and you better give them to me so I can break my desqueaking record, or I will pee on your pillow while you're gone". Ok, so maybe he just looked at me like "are you going to play with me or what?" but I took it the first way. So, like any good I-stand-my-ground-no-matter-what doggy mom, I gave him the TSTB's. I'm not sure if it was a record, as I was not timing, but they were desqueaked in no time. Now, they are laying in the living room along with the 5 or 6 others.

I'm either going to take stock in TSTB's, squeakers, or enter Junior for the Guinness Book of World records for number of TSTB's desqueaked in under 5 minutes. The dog has a talent, and I'm going to profit from it.

Did you know...?

That Baby Jesus had a mohawk...

...And Joseph had a handlebar mustache?

Just ask the first graders in my Sunday School class, cause that's how they drew Jesus and Joseph at the First Christmas.

I mean, I guess we can't really prove them wrong, right?

zzzZZZzzzzzzzZZzzzzz

For some reason for the past two weeks, I have been tired. Let me rephrase that, for the past two weeks I have been MORE tired than usual. I get it. I'm a triathlete in training, who works odd hours and has a physically demanding job. I'm allowed to be a little rundown. But the past two weeks have been nothing short of ridiculous. Example a. Today, I came home from one early appointment and took a nap, for two hours. I went back to work from 10-12pm, came home, and fell asleep AGAIN for an hour and a half. Even then I had to drag myself out of bed, mostly because I was hungry.

Today, I took things into my own hands and googled "reasons for fatigue". Google has all the answers, right? I'm sure to find a reason for my extreme fatigue. So here is a list I compiled from a website as to why I may be tired:

Anemia. -I've been tested and retested since high school. Unless this is something you develop overnight, I'm not sure this is it.

Stress. -I can blame some fatigue on this, but really? My job is NOT stressful. It pretty much goes like this: Hi I'm Robyn, your personal trainer. Lift this. Lift it again. Repeat. Keep going. You get the idea.

Depression. -Don't we all suffer from a little depression? Ok, yeah the holidays are upon us and with the onset of winter, it tends to get a little worse, but again, this was an overnight change in fatigue levels.

An eating disorder. -Only if you count "I eat what I see so don't get in my way" as an eating disorder....

Obesity. -Well, according to the BMI, I am considered obese. Maybe I should check into this...

Malnourishment. -See two answers above...definitely not malnourished.

Poor eating habits. -I have my "cheat" days, and yes they may be more frequent than they should be, but I still get my 3-5 servings of fruits and veggies, which is more than apparently 90% of Americans can say. I read in Time this week that's the percentage of Americans that can't remember the last time they had a salad. SERIOUSLY?

Underactive thyroid. -I feel as though the thyroid is a scapegoat these days. When I have 3/5 clients tell me they have a thyroid problem, I begin to wonder. No, you cannot blame your holiday weight gain on your thyroid. Nice try.

Certain medications. -I know this becomes an issue sometimes, especially with allergy medications. This could be part of the cause, but I have had no changes in medications lately.

Infection. -Of what? Well, I do work at a gym with an average of 7,000 members. I'm probably infected with way more than I'd like to admit. BLARG.

Low blood pressure. -I actually am probably the only person in my family that can even admit to this. I do tend to have lower blood pressure than normal, but not low enough to make me incredibly sleepy.

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. -I've been saying for years I have this. I'm still blaming it on CFS.

Financial worries. -HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Enough said.

Environmental pollution. -I do live in Memphis. Memphians are not necessarily #1 in caring about the health of the environment.

Hormonal changes. -Well, I'm not going through puberty, pregnancy, or menopause, so I certainly hope this isn't it.

Caffeine abuse. -Fatigue + caffeine = only slight fatigue. Fatigue + coffee + energy drink = energy, for at least a little while! Ok, I admit this one....

Lack of exercise. -Not even touching this one.

Divorce. -Not as of this time. I hope not in the future either (Boys, take note).

Small children. -Small dog, yes. Small children, no.

Certain illnesses. -That's a little too general for me. I'm going to go with no.

So basically, what I've come up with from Dr. Google is I am a stressed, obese, broke, caffeine addicted dog owner suffering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.

Damn. It's worse than I thought.

I give myself less than a week to live.

So true, it's not even funny

Best thing I've heard in a while.

My facebook status right now is "Robyn is drinking out of my Ironman coffee mug and it makes me very happy".

A friend messaged me and said:

"I purposely tried to kill myself and all I got was this lousy mug"

Like I said, so true it's not even funny.

Robyn vs. Pomegranate

I lost today. To a fruit. Well, technically in the end I won, but it was a hard fought battle.

I've always wanted to try a pomegranate. I have a thing for exotic fruits, even though I don't know how to eat them. I lost to a mango several months back, but in my defense, I believe I waited too long to cut it and it was just mush in my hands.

I was talking to a client on Monday about fruits and I was telling him how I wanted to try a pomegranate but didn't know how to eat it. He explained it to me and I came home and googled it as well. How did we eat fruit before google? My client told me he'd bring me a POM today (Wednesday) so I was so excited!

Today, I came home and began the battle. You cut the crown off and then score the POM. This is where I tend to have trouble, and where trouble did in fact begin. I probably should have scored it at, say, a place where the membrane was, but no I went right thru the seeds. With a brilliant hue of maroon on the wall, the score was Robyn - 0, POM - 1.

I got it scored (incorrectly, apparently) and put the pieces in a bowl of cold water like google suggested. Walked Junior. Came back and began taking out the seeds. I vaguely remembered google saying something about taking the seeds out UNDERwater (hence the bowl of water) but I disregarded that. Refrigerator and coffee pot are now spattered said shade of maroon. Robyn -0, POM - 3. DAMMIT.

I finally became smarter than the fruit and took the rest of the seeds out underwater. TWENTY minutes later, I had pomegranate carcass all over the counter, maroon splotches all over my hands (Robyn -0, POM - 4), but a de-seeded fruit. FINALLY!! Robyn - 1, POM - 4.

I may have lost the battle, but won the war on POM.

A few tips for next time...set aside a solid 20 minutes for prep and do not wear work shirt. Got it.

Triathletes do wear dresses!

See? I can prove it! Went to a cocktail party last night, hosted by the other lady in the picture, Leslie. She's the boss's (well, ex-boss) wife. It was a blast! I was just glad to wear something other than spandex, a bike helmet, or a 24HF shirt.
(For those who haven't met me, I'm on the right)

Trail Running

I just went trail running with Junior and I forgot how terrible hard it is! But also, how much fun it is! So much better than staring at chewing gum and random bits of car on pavement. However, now Junior smells like dirty park.

In other news, I picked up my Christmas cards today. It's a good one this year! If you're lucky enough to receive one, expect these in the mail next week.

Tonight is Brian and Leslie's Christmas cocktail party. I'm just excited to dress up for once, and now have my hair in a ponytail with a 24 Hour Fitness shirt on. Then I will be seeing Boy's band play. YAY for having some sort of life again!

I'm baaaaaaaack!

Yes, it is true. My computer is fixed!! Thanks to my mom's computer guy. He remotely fixed it from Kentucky on Saturday and I've been enjoying the 21st century ever since.

Everything is pretty much the same. Still working at 24 Hour Fitness, and, well, that's about it. I work, I sleep, I eat. Repeat. And Junior is still Junior. Currently he is growling at the vacuum cleaner because he thought it jumped at him while playing with his ball. I love my dog :)

This is an exciting and perfect time for my internet to be and for me to be blogging again. I started training again on December 1 for my tri season. Here's an outlook for next season:

LOTS OF CHANGES.

First off, I have a new team. Though I'm technically not a part of it yet (waiting until Jan 1, because that's when team dues are paid every year), I will be racing for:

I think this will be so much better for me than my previous team, because I will have people to train with (and race with) and they are involved in the community which I LOVE. I am excited to represent them!

Let's see, more changes:

NEW age group (not excited about moving up to 25-29);

NEW outlook on the season (now that I've done an Ironman, I'm a totally different triathlete...and person);

NEW races (hopefully I'll get to go to some new races that I've never done!)

Things that are the same:

COACH - Liz got me through the toughest thing I've ever done so I can't let go of her! She'll be coaching me all season to hopefully some very good finishes at one (or two) half Ironman races.

BIKE - Unfortunately a $2500 bike is not in the budget this year. Maybe it won't get cut next year....maybe.....

LOCATION - Still in good 'ol Memphis, TN. And there are currently plans being worked up that would guarantee me to be here for another 3 years. More about that to come....

Until then, I'm off. I'm getting sleepy and because I get up at the crack of dawn...I mean BEFORE the crack of dawn everyday, I must start getting ready for bed.

I'm happy to say I'm back to blogging :)

Long Lost Robyn

I am here, in the flesh...borrowing the roomie's computer. I really really really hope to get my computer de-bugged here in the near future, because frankly I'm going insane. Once I stop napping for so long on the weekends (4 hours today!!) I'll get it done.

Dec 1 I start training with coach again. I'll update soon on my schedule for next year, my team change, and overall life, including how I made a client throw up in the middle of the workout floor the other day.

I hope you're happy with my newest post, E!

An open letter to the people at my (and probably all) gyms

Dear Sir or Madam,

This is me, a personal trainer at the gym in which you workout. You may think no one is watching you, but I see you. I'm very sneaky about it, but while I train others, I can see what you're doing. I'm going to point you out specifically in this post:

To the woman who talks on her cell phone while "working out" - I noticed your favorite machine is the ab crunch machine. First of all, this machine is CRAP. Almost no one can do it right to get a good workout anyway, and by you just leaning on it with about 20 lbs of resistance WHILE talking on your cell phone about "how fly he was", the only maximum you're reaching is your max number of words used per day. I've also noticed you are not the trimmest of individuals, which is why you are at the gym - good for you. So hang it up, lock it up, and SWEAT already.

To the dude who shows up at 6am still drunk - while your attempt to become healthier and really watch your weight is well noticed, I believe you have other issues you must first deal with before hitting the gym. Like laying off the sauce. First off, the empty calories will kill your nutrition plan, thus nearly eliminating any benefit you could receive from the gym. Also, you kinda smell like booze...all the time.

To the dudes (plural) who constantly check me out while I'm demonstrating exercises - get over it. I will be demonstrating almost every time I'm working with a client. That's how I roll. So quit staring at my ass and get back to your workout.

To the dude who does an ab workout with the pulley system - I think you may also be the drunk guy, which would explain this interesting "ab workout". Can I tell you, I'm about 96% certain that you are not actually getting a workout by doing this crazy thing on the pulleys? I can't even explain in words what you do, but I've never seen anything like it, and I think you should just pack that up, and head over to the swiss balls. Or better yet, you may actually get more out of the ab machine, which I NEVER recommend (see above). But do not talk on your cell phone while doing it.

To most of the women on elliptical machines - Take your hands off the rails, and go faster. I'm not sure I've seen many of you sweat before. FYI - you're not going to burn many calories by NOT sweating. Newsflash...working out isn't easy, and usually you have to sweat.

And finally, my favorite thus far - to the individuals I've never even met, but have purchased training and still have not used it. When I call you, don't act rude or surprised that I am calling you. YOU used YOUR money and purchased personal training. So when I call you to set up an appointment, do not yell at me, act rude for no reason, and even hang up on me because if I could, I would just take the money you paid for the PT and put it right in my bank account. I haven't figured out a legal way to do this yet, so until then, deal with my phone calls.

Sincerely,
Robyn, Personal Trainer

Well...

...it's safe to say I'm suffering from post-IM don't wanna work out.

On top of the fact that my job is now working people out, I'm a little "worked out". By the end of the day, I'm so sick of the gym, I run out of there. It's safe to say that's why I'm always behind on my client folders. Shh! Don't tell my manager.

I've lifted a few times, but all in all, I'm sooooo not in the mood to swim, bike, or run. Although I have been itching to get on my bike. However, since it is currently located behind two couches post-move, I haven't been able to go for a ride yet. I'm HOPING this weekend is the weekend to ride again.

Also, I've been working like c-r-a-z-y. For example, tomorrow, I have a solid 15-hour workday with 2 1-hour "drive to my next job" break. If you want to call that a break. I have two clients from 6-8am. Then I go home and take Junior to my neighbor's apartment before I go to nanny. Nanny from 9-3. Drive back to gym. Clients from 4-9. NEAT. Not sure how much longer I can hold up the 2 jobs without going completely insane.

This weekend it really hit me. I have NO time. Well, actually the problem this weekend was I did have some time, but because I normally have no time, I didn't have anything to fill it with. No friends to hang out with. Nada.

I did, however, get promoted from Nursery worker to Sunday school teacher at church. That's kind of exciting, though I'm really going to miss my 2-year olds.

Also, the computer at home is still not up and running. That again goes with the no time thing. UGH. Someone please send some motivation my way! Thanks!

I swear I'm alive!!

Ok, dead computer + moving apartments + working 2 jobs = no time to blog!!!

I'm currently at Brian's (old boss) using his computer and watching him change my oil and spark plugs...oh and trying to fix my leaky power steering fluid. I hope he can! Thank goodness for Brian.

Let's see....definitely have no motivation to work out as of late. I've worked out 3 times since IM (officially tomorrow, it will be 4 weeks!!) All 3 times I have lifted weights. The only cardio I've done is I ran around the track 3 times last night with my client....FYI that's less than a half mile. Oh, I did run while I was in Denver, and almost died. Elevation + post ironman = bad run.

Other than that, I'm still job searching for something better than what I'm currently doing, however with the terrible economy, this is proving very difficult. I'm trying to unpack my apartment. That's all I have time for. UGH.

BLARG

I really am alive, I swear. However, a nasty virus has taken over my computer and I"m unable to do anything except use it as a dust collector....for now. Also, I leave in a few hours for Denver until Friday for my 24 Hour Fitness training blah blah blah crap.

I'm excited, can you tell?

Actually I'm very excited that it'll almost be sorta a vacation. At least I won't be working 50 hours....

Post Ironman Life

I wish I could say its glorious.

However, in becoming a "normal" human being like I so wanted to become, I've actually become a tired but no time for naps, overworked, no time for workouts (not that I want to at this point!), never get to see my dog, can't remember what day it is NORMAL human being.

I think I liked training for an Ironman. At least I knew what day it was. Granted, my training peaks told me based on what my workout was, but I still knew the day of the week!

You could say its hard adjusting. I'm working 2 part time jobs, which equals more than a full time job, with driving in between. Not getting paid what I should. Fitting in eating when I can (I remember when this used to be THE priority!) Talking to/seeing friends LESS than when I was training (is that even possible??). Still not getting to sleep in past 6:30.

But I supposed once I get into a groove (or get new jobs), it will all be better. I'm already thinking about my race schedule for next year. No IM, but possibly 2 70.3's. And I can't believe I'm considering IMFL '10. Didn't I want to kill myself during THIS one?

Know what makes it better though? Wearing this shirt today:

"Oh, you ran a marathon? That's cute. 140.6"

Rock on.

Ironman Louisville 2008

Swim 1:14:28

I actually came out of the water about 1:13, but whatever. Coach said, "don't overdo the swim. It's just a warmup." Normally, I rock the swim. I held back a little here. After all, I was swimming 2.4 miles. Getting out from behind the island was somewhat brutal. It seemed to take forever. We swam 3/4 of a mile against the current. I glanced at my watch and I believe it said something around 28 or 29 minutes to get to the turn around.

After the turn around, there seemed to be people piling up on top of each other. I would have guessed the opposite. I only really punched one dude. And he totally deserved it. I started getting delirious when I was passing under the 2nd to last bridge. While breathing, I looked over and swore I saw a seal sitting on the pillar holding the bridge up.

"Are there river seals?"

Then I looked a few more times, and realized it was a large piece of metal. Guess I was getting dehydrated? That should have been a sign for the rest of the day.

Finally, I could see the swim exit! I got SO excited and picked up the pace. Also, because I got passed by a chick, and I wasn't about to let that happen. Jumped out of the water and felt pretty decent. I saw my parents and heard them yell for me. Barb was there snapping some pics:

Apparently, I was having THIS MUCH FUN:

Transition 1 8:36

I really hope from now on I have a personal clothes changer...if not, I'm bringing my own! The volunteers were SO helpful. Took me a little longer than I wanted, but I also used the restroom. Saw Mike on my way out. My parents were also at the bike exit. I was off.

Bike 8:30:56

WOWEE. This bike course was H-A-R-D.

The first 12 miles or so were flat. Great! I was trying not to go too fast, and just get a good solid warmup. People were blowing by me like I was standing still. NEAT. I knew I had to hold back, though. Then.....the hills came. There was a semi-short out and back that was absolutely insane. I hit 40 mph on 2 of the downhills, and 38+ on several others. There are NOT hills like that in Memphis to train on. My legs were feeling it. I saw one guy (or girl...people said it was a girl) getting carried out on a stretcher into an ambulance. (S)he crashed off to the side of the road. That always scares me.

Finally, I was heading toward LaGrange. This is where the spectators are. Luckily, the spectators were on a slight downhill so I looked awesome when I passed my parents. They had a sign and yelled really loudly for me! That gave me a boost of energy. But then I still had a second loop.

On the back part of the loop, it got really hot. I was going up some hills at 5mph, which made me feel like I was baking. I got to the part of the loop where you either take a left for your 2nd loop or go straight. The guy in front of me went straight, which was sad because I was far, far behind him. I turned left and started the loop all over again. Just before we hit LaGrange, we were in a strong headwind, pedaling DOWN a DOWNHILL going 10mph. Talk about frustrating!!! I wanted to cry. But alas, I had no extra salt reserves for tears. All the sudden, a girl came up on the left of me, and goes "Oh thank goodness! I have to cuss to someone! F****** S***!!!!!" I was cracking up. 'Cause I felt the same way! Ugh that was a hard part for sure. Probably the first time I wanted to pull over and quit.

We went through LaGrange again, and the crowd had thinned out. But, of course, my family was still there! They cheered so loudly like I was winning the race.

Then, it got REALLY lonely. By now, probably 2/3 of the field that started after me, had passed me. I was seeing less and less athletes out on the road. It got so difficult mentally (and obviously physically). I wanted to quit so many times. Why did I sign up for this? I pressed on.

I should mention, my nutrition went rather well on the bike. Probably 10-11 bottles of gatorade, 3 bottles of water, and 2 salt tabs per hour. Though it was hard to tell how much liquid I was drinking because I would throw the warm half drank bottles to get colder full bottles. I thought I was doing a great job hydrating.

FINALLY, I was off the loop and heading back to L'ville. When I got to the flats, I knew I was only about 12 miles from transition. My time was brutally slow. I wasn't happy with that, but wanted to do whatever I could to get off the bike! Finally, I saw transition. I unvelcroed my shoes and was ready to jump. I heard my parents cheer for me when I came in and it felt amazing to be on my feet.

Ok...NOT HOT picture.

Transition 2 7:59

Again, I'm so glad the volunteers were there! One lady even got me cups of water to wash my feet with! I lubed up and put my tri shorts and shoes on. I was off! I ran in and out of transition, which gave me confidence. I could run after 112 miles on the bike!!


Run 6:32:14


I have NEVER been so happy to run a marathon. Granted, I've only run one other marathon before, but still! Even if they told me I could ride the marathon, I still would have run it. I definitely broke up with my bike, far too many times to count.


My family was again there to cheer me on out of transition. As I passed them, I said "This was a terrible idea!!" I felt really good running. I saw Barb when I was turning to go across the bridge. I said "Where's your husband??!" She said just up ahead. I said "Good, I'm going to catch him and trip him!" Apparently I get kinda bitchy when I'm exhausted and dehydrated...

The first mile of the run...I look happy here!

Saw Mike on the bridge and he said his legs were cramping. I told him to suck it up and run, or I'd catch him! (Please see previous comment)

I ran the first 10 miles (aid station to aid station) and felt great! That is, until the dehydration caught up to me. About mile 10, I started getting GI issues. I had left my salt tabs in transition, which would be a bad thing! I couldn't get in enough fluids to counteract the dehydration, so what I did take in, just sloshed around in my stomach. I couldn't stomach any more gels, so I ate pretzels and drank coke.

My stomach issues came and went. One minute I felt great and was running with a smile on my face, and the next I was practically doubled over in pain, feeling like I was going to vomit. Again, I wanted to quit. I'm done, I thought. But obviously, I had come this far, I was going to crawl across that finish line.

Possible the worst and best part of the day were actually the same instance: coming up on the finish line, but having to turn for my 2nd lap of the run. I got really emotional because I knew I was so close. And then, I turned and headed towards a whole lot of nothing. I saw my family again, and reiterated how bad of an idea doing an Ironman was....They kept me going, though.

I ran with a girl at this point for a couple miles. It was so nice to get my mind off of how badly I was hurting. By now, my back was tightening up and everything hurt, even my hair. She was having the same GI issues I was. She started to feel better, so I told her to run ahead. I never did catch her, though she was only about a half mile in front of me the rest of the race.

Finally, I came to the last turn, where I only had 6 miles left. I wanted to cry. There were very little people left on the course (compared to the 2300ish that started). It was lonely...I was hurting...but I knew how close I was. I had already come about 134 miles, and only had about 6 to go. I walked a lot the last few miles, and I was worried about making the time cutoff. I knew I'd probably make it, but hey, you never know! I was forcing myself to run, and it was VERY VERY SLOW. But I was running. I was repeating my mantra "Strength and Perseverance". I thought about what coach said "If you can walk, you can run". So I ran as much as I could.

Finally, I had two miles left. I glanced down at my Garmin, and it had shut off! UGH. It had been a long day. I saw the "25" mile marker and got incredibly happy, though this was going to be the toughest mile. I came up to the last aid station, and saw my dad waiting for me. I started to tear up.

"Daddy! My body is shutting down."

"I know babe, but you WILL finish this race."

I am tearing up thinking about that now. He ran with me (ok so he power walked while I ran) the whole last part of the race. He kept telling me how everyone kept calling to see where I was. He said how his side of the family was all at my aunt and uncle's house following me all day and calling in. Just knowing I had SO much support at the race and all over the country made me smile and got me through that last mile.

Once I turned the corner and saw the finish line, my dad said I took off. He said "See you at the finish." I was blinded by the spotlight and everything was kind of muffled sounding. That probably could have been due to severe dehydration, or because my emotions were getting overwhelming. Finally, I was at the beginning of the chute. I heard the announcer say "It looks like we have another Ironman coming in, and this one is an IronGIRL!" He said my name, but I barely remember it (sorry Dawn, I know I promised to really listen!) The hundreds of people at the finish were cheering for ME. 99.9% didn't know who I was, and they were cheering for me! I started to cry and finally, after 16 hours, 34 minutes, and 13 seconds.....

ROBYN KARLAGE, YOU ARE AN IRONMAN!!!!!!

A lady put a medal around my neck and asked if I was ok. Um, no, I just did a freakin' Ironman lady. I'm nuts!!

They took my finisher picture, and I found my family. I was crying, my mom was crying...and probably everyone else was too. I got many, many hugs and congratulations. We headed to get my morning bag of dry clothes, and I SHOULD have gone to the med tent for an IV, but I just wanted to sit down in my hotel. (I'd pay for that decision later)

THANKFULLY, my dad had gone to get my bike and transitions bags during my run so they already had them. I feel so sorry for anyone who had to go get their own post-race! My family walked me up to my room, and my cousin and dad got me bags of ice for an ice bath. After reading my hilarious text messages from Alissa and everyone congratulating me, my family went back to sleep. They deserved it as much as I did!!!

I sat in the ice bath, got a shower, and collapsed in my bed. After answering some facebook messages, I was OUT at 1:30am. Nearly a 24 hour day, 16.5 of those RACING.

It was the HARDEST thing I've ever done, by far. I'm pretty sure it will be harder than childbirth. I'll let you know when that occurs. I have to admit, there were times I doubted myself, and then quickly realized that I couldn't be so negative. I wanted to quit. I wanted to cry. I hated myself at points. But....I didn't fail. I didn't get the time I wanted, but given the obstacles I had to overcome (including a 103 heat index), I think I did a pretty damn good job.

BIG THANK YOUS

-My family FOR SURE gets the most thanks. I cannot even begin to tell you how awesome it was to have my parents, brother, cousin Holly, and Step-Grandma Martha there. I'm not sure I would have finished...especially without my dad. I will remember that last mile for the rest of my life. Hey Dad, remember when you destroyed me in that first 5k we ran? hahaha.

-All my tri friends at the race: Mira, Mike, Barb, Mary Sunshine, Eileen, Kate (and her family), and all the new people I met!

-My coach! Without you, coach, I would have NEVER made it through. And you even answered your phone after midnight to talk to me :) THANK YOU THANK YOU

-Volunteers....these races would never happen without volunteers. And they stayed out there ALL DAY for those of us who finished very late into the night

Some random things I'd like to comment on:

1. Dude at the swim start. We are waiting for the start of the race, and everyone begins to talk about their Sherpas. He says "My Sherpa is drunk in the hotel! So much for a Sherpa!" That just made me laugh...cause my Sherpa was drunk too, at a lake in Missouri...dude at least yours came to the race!!!! (Love you Corky)

2. To the 14 year old boy at one of the last bike aid stations who said "Gee, they must be really tired by now".....to you I say "DUH YOU IDIOT"

3. To the 12 year old boy at one of the run aid stations, while I was waiting for a port-a-potty who asked me if I was "at least having fun"...I LIED. At that point, no I was not having fun. But I lied to you so you'd stop talking to me. Sorry.

4. I'll go ahead and apologize to the guy I punched in the river. Sorry, man.

5. To the guy on the run who eavesdropped on a girl telling me I looked good running, but I said "It's fake", and then he said "You're the only woman to ever admit that"....all I have to say is WOW. Keep those comments to yourself, dude.

6. To Alissa who sent my favorite text message "Dear Lord, please put a man with a cute butt in front of Robyn for the run", THANK YOU.

7. To Gary Z who apparently told EVERYONE and their mom to track me online, THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH.

8. To Corky..thank you for my AWESOME MDOT cake!!!

8. I'm sure I have other things to say over the next few days...and MANY pictures to add...so stay tuned!!!

The Best Worst Experience of My Life

That's now what I'll be referring to Ironman Louisville 2008.

Pre-Race
The night before I left, triathlon vomited on my floor:

Junior knew I was leaving :(
I left good 'ol Memphis about 11am. I first had to drop Junior off, visited with a friend, and then saw Chrissy, Evan, and Madison before finally hitting the road. The drive was uneventful, I just wanted to get there!

Once I arrived, I checked in and found Mira right away. She thankfully took my big suitcase upstairs so I could go back to the parking garage to get my bike. I checked in before taking my stuff upstairs so I could get that out of the way. Checking in for an Ironman is SO INTENSE. They sort of interview you, I suppose to make sure you're sane enough (or insane enough) to do the race. I was nervous that I wouldn't be able to figure out all the bags with their various colors and what not, but I think that was checking in nerves. Like....holy hell I'm actually going to attempt an Ironman.

Got all my stuff upstairs, and then Mira and I went to dinner with lots of people, including Eileen Swanson! What a sweetie. We're like best friends now. Ok, not really, but it was so awesome to get to meet her.

After dinner, Mira and I headed down to transition to take a look around. I was getting kinda nervous...I'm actually here!! We met a very nice couple, and the woman (Erica I think was her name?) did the race last year. She was giving us all the info on where we would be entering and exiting transitions and things of that nature. She was very helpful! She's actually done a lot of the same races I have because she's from St. Louis. I hope I see her again at another race.

Slept OK thurs night...I didn't sleep very well at all this whole WEEK. But we had a really nice hotel suite :)

Friday morning, we woke up and did the Gatorade practice swim. I was kinda nervous to swim in the river, but it was actually better than some lakes I've swam in! I only swam for 10:30. I swam against the current for 6 minutes, and the same distance on the way back only took me 4:30. After the swim, I headed back to the hotel and showered to get the river funk off of me. Mmmmmmm river funk.

I napped, of course, but only after getting coffee. Usually, I either nap OR have coffee, but this is Ironman, so I opted for both. Later in the day I found Target and carefully chose Ironman supplies (i.e. lots of carbs). We went to dinner that night with Eileen again, and the Kate Monster family. They were awesome! After a glass breaking issue, we left full of carbs :)

The family arrived during dinner, so I drove over to the campsite to visit for a bit. I'm soooooo glad they came.

Saturday morning....IRONMAN EVE.

Holy crap, it hits me. I'm going to be doing an Ironman tomorrow. Who told me to do this? Who do I blame???

Gatorade swim practice #2. Found my girl Barb who was working the "we'll watch your stuff" tent. She hooked me up with extra water bottles and gatorade...Thanks B! Swam the same route as the day before, and finished in nearly the exact same time. Though this day the water was much rougher. Found Mike (Barb's hubby) afterwards and we walked back to the hotel. Then we rode together for about 20 minutes. It was nice to be on my bike...hadn't been on it in a few days. Mike decided to run, and I opted out...I'll get enough of that tomorrow, I thought.

Tried to take a nap, but was far too nervous to sleep. I was having dinner at the campsite. The 'rents were making me my normal breakfast dinner. Pancakes and sausage! It was delicious. I didn't stay long, because it was hot and I wanted to stay out of the heat. Headed back to the hotel, and Mira and I prepped our stuff for race morning. We were in bed at 9:30 but we watched tv for a bit because we were too nervous to sleep!!

Race Morning

The future 2x Ironman and Ironman on Race Morning:

Our wakeup call was at 3:45am. I went to the 24 hour coffee place on the 3rd floor and got some coffee. Came back, ate a bagel and peanut butter and packed up our last things. We headed down to the transition area: about a 1/2 mile walk. Good warmup, right??

It was so strange to not set up my towel and put everything out for my transitions. We just racked our bikes (after airing up the tires), and gave the volunteers our special needs bags. Mira, Doug, Susan, and I walked down to the swim start (about another 3/4 of a mile). Then...we......waited, and waited and WAITED. I honestly felt like we were waiting in line for concert tickets. Only, in a swimsuit. We waited for nearly an hour, until finally the pros were off! OH MY GOSH. I'm really about to race for 15+ hours. It's going to be a looooooong day.

BIG DAY is fast approaching

WOW. I freaking leave in 2 days. So much has to be done before then, and all I really feel like doing is nothing (i.e. resting). I'm getting my hyper taper energy, but its always at the end of work at 24 hour fitness. Weird.

I have had SO MUCH on my mind these last few days. Originally I was supposed to move apartments tomorrow...that's right, the day before I left for the race. Well, when I say move, I mean GET MOVERS. But it looks like we may just be moving buildings within our complex, which means I can push the move back until after the race...Thanks goodness!!

Other than moving, bills bills bills have been bombarding me. I am currently working two jobs, which when I get onto a normal schedule will probably have me working every bit of 45-50 hours per week. But for now, its not enough. It's just hard to concentrate on this race knowing how much money is going into it, when I can't even afford the necessities!

But aside from all the stress of normal living...I am getting excited for race day. Once I'm on the road Thursday, I will feel much better and much more focused on it. So, in honor of the BIG DAY coming up, here are a few things I'm looking forward to in my post Ironman life (in no particular order):

1. Getting my hair done! It hasn't been done since March, mostly b/c of the $$ issue. I look AWFUL, but at the same time when your hair is under a helmet 67% of the week, it doesn't matter much.
2. Eating like a normal person.
3. For that matter, sleeping and overall acting like a normal person.
4. Not having to train past 4pm on Saturdays (unless I start at 3pm).
5. Having the energy to clean my apartment on a regular basis.
6. Not having to rest going up a flight of stairs due to leg fatigue (at least not as often).
7. Reconnecting with my friends.
8. Weightlifting again, how I want to do it.
9. Playing things that don't involve a pool, a bike, and running shoes.
10. Not waking up hungry at 3am.
11. Not crying in the middle of a 115 mile ride.
12. Not talking to annoying people at creepy gas stations 40 miles from my apartment.
13. Stay awake all day for once.

There's about 63 more things I could add, but I won't bore you. Stay tuned!

Junior's Ready...am I?

If you look closely, they're Ironman brand glasses...cause that's how we roll.

Bib # 174

I guess its official....I'm going to do/be an Ironman.....

Who told me to sign up for Ironman?

I dont know if you know this, but I'm 9 days out.

WTF

Product Plug

Obviously this will increase sales for this product by at least 148.7%. Scientifically proven.

First off, I enjoy frozen vegetables. I mean, come on. What could be better than vegetables (good for you and delicious).....frozen (so easy all you have to do it heat them up...no washing, no nothing). Back in the day (ok, so like 4 years ago), I used to steam vegetables on the stove EVERY NIGHT, with my favorite kitchen product:

Does anyone else think this is cool? I used to just get it out of the cabinet and open it...close it...open it...close it...etc. It's just fun.

Cooking with this got old...there's the time it takes to steam the veggies (10-15 min). Sometimes I'd get impatient and end up eating partially cooked frozen veggies. Not good. Then there's cleanup. If you didn't clean right away (which I usually didn't because I was so impatient to eat), then the veggies would dry to the sides of it.

So when I found this product, it was my lifesaver:

What could be easier?? Put frozen veggies in bag. Push buttons on microwave and 3 min later, you have perfectly steamed frozen veggies! Cleanup? Pssh. What cleanup? Just throw it away! I thought nothing would be easier.

Until tonight. Even though the Zip and Steam bags are super easy, sometimes I'd end up putting too many veggies into the bag. There wasn't a great way of eye-balling the amount I was putting in. However, my NEW FAVORITE PRODUCT takes care of that for me:

HOLY MOLY. So now let me get this straight...all I have to do is remove bag from freezer, put in microwave, and open bag? Perfect portion size?! And it takes about half the time as the Zip and Steam bags?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

*Side Note* I'm an easy to please girl...if you can't tell.

So now I'm set for life on vegetables. I highly recommend this product, and to the Birdseye company: When you see a dramatic increase in sales, you can send a cut of the check to me. Thank you.

Conversations with a gas station attendant

Last Saturday was my last HUGE workout before IM. It consisted of a 45 min swim, 6 hour bike, and a 45 min run. My own little triathlon.

Went for my swim. It was decent. Nothing spectacular. Since I had swam the day before, my shoulders were quite tired, but I ended up doing 2350 yards.

After lagging around a bit at home, I finally got out on the road at 10am. I can tell when I prepare myself mentally before a huge ride. It makes a HUGE difference. I was ready to go. I did the same route I did the last long ride, but cut out the loop through Arlington. It ended up working out perfectly for my time. About 30 miles before arriving back home, I made my last stop at a small gas station in Moscow, TN. The name should give it away. I always get stares walking into a little gas station in my riding gear. And I ALWAYS get asked "Is that your bike out there?" or "Have you been riding?" The smartass in me wants to say "Nope, I just like to drive around in bike shoes and a helmet, just in case I see a bike on the side of the road that needs to be ridden........here's your sign". That's for my dad.

Anyway, this time, not only did I get that question, but I had quite the interesting conversation with the Gas Station attendant. He probably doesn't get out of Moscow much. Went something like this:

Dude: Looks like you've been riding. How far have you gone?
Me: (looking at my Garmin) I'm on mile 60.
Dude: Oh my gosh! Where did you come from?
Me: East Memphis.
Dude: Wow, that's a long way!!

gee you think?

Dude: What are you training for?
Me: An Ironman. 3 weeks in Louisville.
Dude: An Ironman! Don't beat me up!

WTF does that mean?

Dude: So what is your biggest fear?

Is this in general terms? Something like death, spiders, the dark? Or in regards to the race? I'm going to go with biggest fear of the race, because he just asked about it. But seriously, will he even understand what I'm talking about? Should I really get into it? Explain in detail what my actual fear is. Or should I just say something simple and obvious so he'll leave me alone.

(Side Note: By mile 60, I'm apparently really crabby)

Me: Well, I'd have to say my biggest fear will be my nutrition going all wrong and having stomach issues or bonking with a significant part of the race left.

Dude stares at me.

Should have gone with the simple obvious answer...but hey, he asked.

Dude: That's not what I meant!

THAT'S WHAT YOU ASKED

Dude: What is your worst of the three sports?

That is DEFINITELY not what you asked. Two completely different questions. I'm just going to go with a simple one word answer so I can take my gatorade and leave.

Me: Running.
Dude: Oh, well good luck!
Me: Thanks.

I will NEVER get those 5 minutes back. Ever.

Made it home. I was pretty antsy to get off my bike. I hate that.

The run went pretty well. This was the longest brick I've done so far in this season. I usually just run for 15-20 min off the bike. To get the brick feeling out. So I was a little nervous for this run. Also, by the end of my ride, I was dehydrated, even though I drank a lot of fluids and took 2 thermolytes every hour. I can never win. After laying on my floor (and Junior licking the salt off of my legs) for a good 5 minutes, I knew I had to get out and run.

The run went SO WELL under the circumstances. I felt pretty good. I could have run longer, but didn't want to push my luck. Also, by this point it was nearly 6pm.

I was so happy with this workout. However, I think I'm paying for it now, because I woke up this morning not feeling so hot. Sore throat, headache. I slept all day. Coach gave me today off, and possibly tomorrow. She said its not unusual to get sick about 3 weeks out. You're just past your hardest training and your body is broken down. I figured that's what it is, but I just want to be READY TO GO in 2.5 weeks. I know I will be.

I can officially talk about it

My job. YES....I have a job. Shocker, I know. No longer will I be living the life of a bum (professional-yet-unpaid-triathlete). No more two-a-day naps. No more facebooking until my fingers fall off. No more visiting friends on a daily basis.

I guess I knew it was coming.

Well, I officially (as of yesterday) work for 24 hour fitness. I am a personal trainer. Let me rephrase that: I'm the ONLY female personal trainer at this location. Which pretty much makes me awesome.

I am actually excited because apparently there's a lot of people just waiting for a female personal trainer. I don't blame them. I'm a pretty big deal.

I'm really not that into myself, but I do think I'll do a really good job. 24 hour also seems like a great place to work. In September, I'll be going to Denver for 5 days for an "intro to the company" type deal. Paid for! So that's cool. Actually, they wanted to send me to an earlier class, but guess when it was? August 25-29, meaning I'd get back in town the 30th. NOT GONNA WORK. The head fitness manager said to the club manager "Oh, she can't do that, she has that thing"

That thing....that little thing...yeah. That 17 hour day, 140.6 mile journey...that little thing takes place on August 31st. Can't miss it.

Anyway. That's what will pay the bills for now. And tonight, I witnessed the power of a pretty woman (me, obviously) in an athletic setting. I was running (if you want to call it that), and I see a guy STRUGGLING a few hundred feet in front of me. Kinda looked like the type of dude that finally mustered up the will power to go out and run. He was slightly overweight, and like I said, struggling. Sweating profusely, beat red face...everything. All the sudden, he saw me. After he passed behind a tree, he all the sudden pepped up and was running. Smile on his face. Standing really tall. He passed me, gave me the biggest smile and said "good evening!" After about 10 seconds, I turned around to look at him, and sure enough, he was walking again, hunched over looking like death.

That's why female personal trainers rock. The guys want to impress pretty girls. Thanks mom and dad for making me pretty :)

Who says shih tzu's can't do anything cool?

I will not tell you how many takes this took to capture on film. But of course, when he's on camera, he won't do it!

Long run report.

After a so-so 3 hour ride on Friday, I was not really looking forward to a 3 hour RUN today. Especially, considering it is going to hit 100 degrees today in Memphis. I decided very early on, that I would get up FREAKIN early to do this run, because I did not want to be running in the heat. I thought it was funny that last night the weatherman said "Do not do anything strenuous in the next few days outdoors". Oops!

So, my alarm went off at 3:50am. I got up about 4 and was on the road by 4:30. I must say, it was AWESOME running that early. No traffic, peace and quiet, and it was actually quite cool. Well, for Memphis heat it was cool. I tried not to look at my Garmin for the whole first hour, except to check my HR. I did a pretty good job. I got to a gas station about 4.5 miles away and decided to fill up my gatorade. I was off again, and actually feeling pretty good. I took a different route than I had originally planned, but it actually ended up being the same distance. I stopped at the same gas station on the way back and filled up again.

During the 2nd hour, my hips got pretty tight, so I stretched at the gas station and it actually helped a lot. For the first 30 min of the 3rd hour, I was supposed to run in zone 3. I was a little nervous about this, since it will have been my longest run since the marathon last December. I ROCKED those 30 min. I was just in the zone, and my legs were turning over so quickly, with no pain. My HR had a little trouble getting back down to zone 1 for my last 30 minutes, but all in all, it was a SOLID run. I was motivated, didn't feel bad, and was finished with 14 miles by 7:30am. Can't really ask for a better start to the training week, eh?

SO happy my motivation was there for this run. I really needed it.

ONE MONTH

Holy Crap. It's getting close. But due to my lack of motivation (though it is getting better), I decided to post pictures of Junior instead.

He's been really enjoying his kennel lately, which is odd because I almost sold it. He never used it, up until the last few weeks. He's so dang cute!!

He makes me so happy :) So freakin cute!!!

Post bath time. Which Soccer ball do I play with???

Crash and BURN

This quite accurately reflects this week of training.

It was my biggest training week of the entire IM training (19.5 hours) and I....BLEW.....IT.

In the past few months, I have had so many ups and downs of job hunting, and I've traveled A LOT...well, a lot for me. I think it all finally caught up to me.

My motivation is MIA. Physically, my body is doing really well. My legs are recovering rather nicely after long workouts, and *knock on wood* no injuries. Not too many aches and pains.

I've always been very good at staying motivated. At KU, I was always the one my teammates turned to when they needed some motivation, or just a good uplift to get them through. Now, however, training solo for an Ironman is proving to be very difficult. This is a whole different area than I've ever experienced. And it's HARD. Physically...mentally....you name it.

I sent coach a long email yesterday when I got back from my 7.5 hour workout-turned 2.5 hour workout. That is, after I cried in the shower :) She wrote me back: You're training for an IM. It's not supposed to be easy. But know what - Ironman requires you to really DIG DEEP and be tougher. It will be a LONG day out there and you will need to fight your head for 140.6 miles. Your body will do it. But your head will say...maybe not. So, I want you to try chalk this past week up as a lesson learned and move on.

My coach is AWESOME. So very understanding, but also knows when I need a swift kick in the a$$. This will, I will rest hard. I'm very good at resting. Next week I will jump right back into being motivated and be ready for the final push to the race. 5 weeks from yesterday...it's coming up!

Also, after today, I will be able to share JOB NEWS. That's right...soon, I will no longer be a professional bum.

I frickin' LOVE my dog

When you hear a commotion from the other room...it is almost certainly something like this.

Monotony Takes Over

Well...I'm 5 weeks out. 5 weeks from now I'll probably be walking around the expo with my new friend Mira. By the way we're now going to be roomies for the weekend in Louisville! I can't wait.

Monotony has taken over my training life. I'm to the point of 2+ hour workouts per day. Its not necessarily the time involvement, but I have learned how lonely Ironman training can be. Last Saturday, the only people interaction I encountered was a passing of the roommate, and a few creepy dudes in the middle of nowhere Tennessee gas stations. It was the day I did my nearly 8 hour ride. When I finished, the last thing I wanted to do was go visit with people, let alone get out of my bed.

It's the summer, and that means people are out and about doing their own things. My friends from school are moving (or have moved already) so they're busy prepping for moving. Or they are finishing up their theses (meaning they're living in an office or library). Or they're working (wonder what that's like?) Basically what it boils down to is that I spend a lot of time alone. Even when my friends are doing something, I'm usually training. Take for example this Sunday. Apparently everyone is playing in a fun softball tournament. I was invited to play, but alas, I have a 7 hour workout. Don't get me wrong, I knew it would happen, but it just hasn't truly hit me until this week.

Enough "feel sorry for Robyn". OK, wait not quite yet. Last night I was doing a 90 minute recovery ride, when I hear "CLANG!" Dang, ran over something medal. DANG! Flat tire. I get off to change it, and I have a nice gash in my tire. COOL. I knew I could change the tire, but I wasn't sure how damaged the tire was. I didn't want to go a half mile down the road and have another flat. I was still about 6 miles from home, so I decided to call my roommate to come pick me up. Avoid the chance of another flat, and a wasted tube.

I just got back from the bike shop, and I'm the proud owner of 2 brand spanking new tires. He said I could get away without buying new ones, but he wouldn't take that chance in an Ironman. I didn't want to be on mile 84 of IM and have a busted tire and not be able to finish. I've invested far too much time on this race. So I bought the tires.

ANYWAY, now enough of feeling sorry for Robyn. I have a 3-ish hour ride and a run off the bike today. And....it's....................HOT. Go figure. Solid weekend of training ahead of me, too. HAPPY TRAINING!!

Agenda for the next two days

I will be traveling to Baltimore tomorrow. Not for pleasure, though I wish I could say it was. Job interview. PLEASE pray for me.

I get to see my sister! She lives there and will be picking me up from the airport, hemming my dress, and just overall taking care of me like a good big sister for the whole 2 days I'm there.

I come back Tuesday late, and unfortunately don't get to pick up my puppy til Wednesday morning.

Other than that, I survived my SOLO 7:40, 107 mile ride on Saturday. I actually didn't want to kill myself, though my body was definitely rejecting me by the end. I had a terrible stomach ache after I got home. Laid in bed for about two hours, and then went to Perkins for a solo much needed HUGE breakfast dinner.

This week is my longest training week of IM training: 19 hours. YIKES. I know I'll be fine. Just seems like a lot at this point.

Ok, finish packing then off to bed. I have an EARLY flight in the morning!

I really am alive, I swear

Just have not been in the blogging mood as of late. Way too much stress (un-tri related). Still no job..though I'm searching like crazy. I'm going to Baltimore on Monday and Tuesday for an interview at the VA hospital. I get to see my sister! We'll see how that goes.

Other than that, training has been AWESOME this week. I've hit all my time goals (besides swimming...I always get my workouts done before the scheduled time). AND everything has felt really good. I've accepted the fact that I'm not fast, but I can do the distances no problem. Ok, maybe ask me that when I am on my 8 hour ride on Saturday....I may tell you differently. I usually quit the sport a few times when I'm on a workout longer than 5 hours.

Junior got groomed today...he looks STUPID. I hate it. Can't wait for it to grow out. They cut his tail, and I don't know why they did that. I love his fluffy long tail. Oh well, it'll grow back. And I'm sure he feels much better with nearly a pound less hair in the Memphis heat.

Here's a picture of him:

Also I was in Vegas last weekend for a conference. Good times with all my people from school. Here's some pics:

Brian showing me how he can successfully make it through a conference without rupturing a tendon in his thumb. And that creepy guy in the background is one of his best friends. :)

My love Andy who is now at Ball State...and why do I STILL have man arms???I also met a professor from Edith Cowan University (Perth, Australia) who had told me I can come study under him. He does triathlon and endurance (cycling) research. His latest studies have to do with the benefits of cold water immersion (i.e. ice bath post long workout)...he didn't need to spend money on that...I could have told them how much ice baths ROCK.

Anyway, he told me that I'd be very competitive in getting the international scholarship for the 2009 school year. So I'm actively pursuing beefing up my vita and applying. It's all in God's hands...wherever He wants me, I will go.

That is all for now.

I'm alive

Bear with me....LOTS going on...well actually no, that's the problem. There isn't a lot going on....

What am I supposed to do with THIS?

I got my mail today and had a package containing this:

Um..... ????????????????

For those of you who live under a rock and do not know what happened, I (among numerous other athletes) did not get to finish this race. Had I truly finished, I would have had a ridiculous run time of 5.5 min miles, or something ridiculous like that.

Any other time in my whole triathlon life, I would be walking around with this thing taped to my forehead. But I didn't actually get 4th place. I was the 4th female 20-24 to run through the chute, but there were a few girls who came in after me that actually did the whole run. So you can see the issue.

Now I'm taking suggestions as to what to do with this. Doorstop? Paperweight? Wallpaper smoother? Let me hear it people.

Swim Test Today!!

My last swim test before IM. 10 x 100 all out with 10 sec rest in between. I feel a bit of puking coming on....

If at mile 10 you want to stop....keep going

So Saturday was a 7 hour ride. Let me preface this story with my mom randomly came to town on Wed night.

She's been retired for 2 weeks...she's already visiting. HELP.

Kidding...LOVE YOU MOMMY. She helped me get organized, do a billion loads of laundry, and we went to Target...twice. :)

So she was going to leave Sat morning once I got out on the road. I originally planned a 104 mile ride (see post below), but found out about a charity ride up near Bartlett. After hearing about a cyclist getting hit by a car the day before, my mother insisted I ride with the group. FINE.

I set out on my 20 min drive to Canada Rd. and was there standing in line to pay the charity at 7am. Finally, after getting out my 18 bottles of fluids and stuffing my back pockets full of gels, bars, Sharky's, and fig newtons minis.

I had to chuckle to myself when people were like "oh man I'm not looking forward to 62 miles, today". You see, there were 3 loops you could do: 20 miles, 40 miles, or 62 miles. Obviously I was doing 62. And then some.

We started off a few minutes late, about 7:45am. I had people whizzing by me, but I was able to hold myself back. I had 100 miles to do, I wasn't going to blow up in the first 10. Well, after those first 10 miles...I really really wanted to pull over and just sit on the side of the road. Maybe someone would come pick me up? There was NO way I was going to make the full 100 today. I pushed on, and soon I realized I was riding alone. What the heck?! I paid money (to a charity, of course) to ride with PEOPLE. Where are they all? I know the ride started out with 300+ riders!

Every so often, a rider would pass me. Again, I couldn't push it (though I was holding a decent pace, for a hilly course). I knew I couldn't go crazy. I've made that mistake before. Even though I told coach my nutrition wasn't great, thinking back on it, it wasn't terrible just not as good as it could have been. So, coach, please don't be that mad at me :)

After about 20 miles or so, I had been following this guy for a few miles. Well, that was a mistake. Apparently, he missed the turn. I take 25% of the blame for this, since I should have been paying attention too, but I blame him for 75% of it. The group of 3 behind me had been following me, apparently, because they missed it, too. We all ended up at a fork in the road and were all scratching our heads. We decided to go straight, maybe they just didn't put a marker here? Bad idea. Note to self: don't listen to others on a long ride.

After a few miles in the wrong direction, we decided to turn around. We back tracked and figured out where we went wrong. After a few more miles, we found a SAG and soon the split off for the 40 or 62 mile rides. Of course, the people I was with were doing 40. Once again...on my own.

I slowly but surely finished the ride, as the sun came out to fry me up. When I left it was overcast and didn't look like it would break at all. And unfortunately I forgot to apply the sunscreen. OOPS. I now have my amazing farmers tan, again.

Back to the ride. Once I made it back to my car, I realized my 62 mile ride turned into 71 miles, thanks to my directionally challenged friends. It's ok, though, because I still had 30 miles to go.

I decided since I didn't know my way around up north, and because I needed 30 miles (not 20 or 40), I would head home to my normal 28 mile route.

Well, sitting in the car was a mistake. But I didn't even go up to my apartment because I knew I wouldn't finish the ride. I hopped on my bike right away and peddled the most miserable 2 hours of my life. I did not want to be on that bike anymore.

After 98 miles, and 6:56...I...was....DONE. I was supposed to run for 15 min off the bike, but I couldn't even move. I know, I know. But you say "Robyn, you have to run a marathon after that in a few weeks". Yes...I realize this. Give me a freaking break!

All in all, it was successful, but not at the same time. I definitely know what to do differently for my next super-ridiculous-extremely long ride...coming up in two weeks! 8 hour ride scheduled, probably about 115 miles. Who's in???

Saturday Ride

Ok people....who would like to join me for this ride on Saturday? Either the whole thing, or just an hour here or there? I already have one friend meeting me around Arlington for an hour, but any other times would be great! Let me know :)

Long workouts = dead legs

First of all, mother nature and I are NOT on good terms. I woke up Saturday at 6am prepared for a 6 hour ride. I was ready to go! I guess as excited as you can be to do a 6 hour solo ride. I took Junior outside to see dark clouds. Uh oh. I came in and checked the radar. It pretty much looked like this: (Drawing not to scale)Seriously, that's what it looked like. The weather man said it would be in Germantown (where I ride to) in 45 min. Well GREAT. Can't go ride just yet. I wouldn't mind a little green, but that big red blob was what worried me. Emailed coach...we decided as long as I got it done this weekend I was ok. I decided to go back to bed :)

Woke up at 10, and it still hadn't rained, but the sky still looked like it did at 6am. The radar still looked the same, but the storms were hitting everywhere BUT Memphis. It was like there was a force field around the city and it was breaking up the storm. It still looked like it would pour any second, so I decided to just go for the run. I decided that at 1:30pm...the heat of the day.

It started off pretty well. Until my asthma (which has been bad lately) started getting worse. I was hot. My legs hated me. Did I mention this run was supposed to be 2:15? I had mapped out an 11.5 mile course. After 5 miles, I stopped in a church parking lot and called Corky. I did NOT want to run. Scratch that...I kinda did, but my body didn't. I wanted to cry but conserved the salt. Corky said run 2 more miles and call her back. I ran a mile, and decided to stop at the gas station to use the restroom. I also talked them into letting me have a little espresso shot cup of coke. They were probably very confused why a runner was asking for coke, but it works every time I tell ya!

Back on the road, after the shot of coke, I was feeling much better. I ended up cutting the run about another mile short, so it was 10.5 miles. About 3 miles from home, I saw P$ in his truck. He pulled over and said hi, while trying to give me the toaster oven he's been trying to give me for a week. His excuse was "oh come on you're not THAT far from home".

Once home, I wanted to collapse, but instead had to babysit.

Sunday, church day obviously. Worked in the nursery and then attended 9:30 service. Normally I make my Kroger run right after church, but I was so tired I went straight home and laid down for an hour. I knew I had my ride to do. I was up and on my bike by 1:30. I was trying a new route, so I was a little nervous since I wasn't familiar with the roads. It actually turned out pretty good! This is the route I took:I did the loop twice, and it totaled 84 miles. My legs were just tired of moving by the end. Plus, doing it solo was not so fun. But I do know that when I get to IM, it will all be solo for the most part. So suck it up!

Also, I would like to speak to the two d-bags I came in contact with on my ride. To the first guy, on highway 64 with the ridiculously large truck who said on his intercom system "Get off the road, its for cars dumbass!" - you are not cool. You're truck is large, and gas guzzling. That wasn't even funny. However, I did pray for you, so I hope you experienced something post-yelling at me.

Also, to the man who drove up next to me while I was on Houston Levee Rd. and just stared me down - was that really necessary? I was already working my butt off, trying to stay as fast as possible so I don't make drivers upset. 99% of the people passing me did it correctly by going into the other lane to give me plenty of room. So did you really have to be a d-bag and drive next to me staring at me like I didn't know I was riding my bike in the road?

All in all, my nutrition was good. Though I did get dehydrated, even though I was taking my thermolytes (2 per hour) and consumed over 150 oz of liquid (100ish of those gatorade). Next Saturday, I have a 7 hour ride. PLEASE someone ride with me, even for an hour?

Where have I been?

Don't worry, I've been asking myself that too. Got an email from a friend today:

How am I supposed to know what is going on if you don't update your blog?????? I feel lost....alone....wandering in the wilderness of despair.

I feel the same way, Bill.

Well, what I've been doing for the past week is VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL. It took over my life for a whole week. I think I would have been less tired if I had trained for 4 hours a day rather than be with those kids. I was the "professor" of 22 four-year-olds. You heard that right. Twenty-two. Four year olds.

The theme of the week was Powerlab. Which is why I was the "professor". Didn't even have to get my PhD! Every day I came home and crashed for about two hours. It was EXHAUSTING. But how could you not be happy seeing these smiling faces everyday, talking to them about Jesus?

Also, I love what 4 year olds say. Some quotes from this week:

Anna: Miss Robyn, your shoes are kind of big.

Robyn: I know.

Anna: It's ok, you'll grow into them.

----------------------------------------------------------

Class leader: Kids, have you ever done anything wrong in which you can ask Jesus for forgiveness?

Emma: I never do anything wrong. But my brother does!

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Lisa (talking to her daughter): Molly, tell Miss Robyn what Jesus gives you the power to do.

(Molly stares at me)

Robyn: Molly, what does Jesus give you the power to do?
Molly: EAT CAKE!!!

This is why I LOVE KIDS.

Training is going well, surprisingly after this week. I have a 6 hour ride in the morning...SOLO. Here's to success at that.

Race Report: Kansas 70.3 (well, 63.8ish)

After getting yelled at by Dawn this morning, I’ve finally sat down to write my race report. I guess the reason I have yet to do it, is because of the debacle that was Kansas 70.3, or in my case Kansas 63.8ish. So here goes:

Pre-Race

I should have known this weekend wouldn’t be very good when I got a 3 hour late start due to bank issues. Finally, I was on the road around 11ish for an 8hour drive. I had planned to leave at 7:30 right after I dropped Junior off. But alas, things happen. Originally I was going to drive all the way into Lawrence so I could visit with people. Once I realized what time I was going to get into the KC area, I just decided to stay with Corky in Blue Springs, and save myself the long drive to Lawrence. Plus she offered to drive to Lawrence the next day, which saved me gas! Thanks girl!

We ate a fantastic dinner provided by the future Mr. and Mrs. Staton and pretty much went right to bed. Woke up Saturday morning, ate some food, pottied the cuddly pit bulls, and we were off to Lawrence. We went straight downtown to the expo. It was great being in downtown Lawrence and the atmosphere really was great. However, I agree with most athletes and think the expo should be at the race site. Just makes it easier all around. P.S. Downtown Lawrence is really awesome in the day time…i.e. not at 1am while you’re drunk, which is how I spent most of my days in downtown Lawrence ;)Since we got in and out of getting our race packets so quickly, we had plenty of time before bike turn in started at 2. After walking around the expo a bit, we decided to have 2nd breakfast/brunch outside at Milton’s. It was PERFECT outside, and Milton’s is always delish. I ate waaaaaay too much, but it was so good, I just couldn’t stop. Bad idea.

(Yes Corky is putting tightening her goggles while sitting outside at Milton's)

Next we were off to the race site for our last workouts. We both rode for about 20 minutes, and quickly determined it would probably be windy during the race. We made it back to the TA, and Corky went to swim while I ran. Well, Milton’s and the overeating came back to get me, and I ran a total of 10 minutes because I felt like I was going to hurl. I thought I would have enough time to digest, but apparently not. I walked down to the beach to try to find my partner in crime, but didn’t see her, so I went back to the car and started putting stickers on my bike. Biggest.......Gatorade Bottle........EVER

Cork finally made it back, and we got in line to turn bikes in. All the sudden Corky said “I see an opportunity approaching”. She went to her car to get her Trisports.com handouts. I was stuck holding both our bikes and trying to move with both of them as the line quickly moved. I kept looking back and seeing Corky mingling and passing out her handouts…good for her, but I was going to drop her bike right there and fend for myself! Good thing when I got into the chip tent, Mark Livesay was the one giving me mine. He looked at me and said, with the dumbest look on his face “why do you have two bikes?” I said “This is Courtney Crutcher’s, she’s handing out trisports stuff”. He just looked at me, looked at the bikes, looked at me again, and said “Ok I trust you”. Great! Finally Corky realized what was going on and ran up to get me (aka her bike, at this point we were already talking sh*t with each other about who was going to win).

We found our spots in TA and headed back to the car. We had been at the race site for nearly 3 hours so it was about time to head back to rest. We went back to Alyson’s house (thank you for hosting us!). We were doing the normal race prep stuff and I had several visitors (Beej and his girl, Dennis, and Sexy Mike!), which it was great to catch up with people!! Finally we thought we should get our stuff together for the race, since we had a 3:45am wakeup call! Earliest race I’ve ever done! Then it was time to snuggle with the Corkster all night long. She claimed I spooned with her in the middle of the night, but it was actually because she was laying in the middle of the dang bed!

Ready to Race!!

Be glad we didn't do this to YOUR bed the night before the race...Thanks POPE!!

Race Morning

3:45am is E-A-R-L-Y. At this point, I was also thinking how glad I was I left Junior at home, even though I missed the wittle guy. We got all our stuff together, put our race gear on, and headed out the door. We stopped at BP for some gas, and much needed (though not very tasty) coffee. We ventured to Clinton Lake, rocking out to some old school Nelly with the sub on. We were reverting back to high school. Quote of the morning was Corky: “only triathletes would wake up at 3:45am to race for 6+ hours and sh*t on themselves”. Totally true.

After a “short” walk to the TA, we started setting up. I always forget how long it takes me to set up my TA. I was able to meet a teammate I didn’t even know would be there, and BARB!!! Her husband was obviously way too busy to come meet me, though. Finally it was time to head to the swim. On our way, though, we got to look up and see some dudes jumping out of airplanes to land on the beach…and they call US crazy!

Swim: 36:57 – 1:45/100 yards

First off, this time included a 5 mile run from the beach to the TA…ok not really, but it was every bit of 250-300 yards…a long way if you ask me! Also, EVERYONE has said the swim was measured too long. My pace says so, I think. I know it was choppy, but the half I did last year, I was about 8-9 min faster. Even the pro’s were about 3-4 min slower than their usual times. Corky and I started up front. We were the first two swimmers to the first buoy. I just kept swimming, thinking to myself “holy crap, why do I do this?” I did a decent job of staying near the buoys, but could have done better. Overall, I felt really good on the swim.

T1: 1:39

Not bad, probably should have been faster, though.

Bike: 3:53:08 – 14.4 mph

UGH. It was so damn hilly. Who knew there were hills in Kansas?! I thought the only one was on campus. It was tough, but it also made me feel that much better when I finished it. Though I wish I would have paced over 15mph. The worst was my hamstrings tightened up again, and about 3 times as worse as at MIM. I wanted to get off my bike and stretch, but I also didn’t want to stop. Well, God must have been telling me to, because about mile 30 I dropped my chain. Going up one of the biggest hills! I stopped, put the chain back on, got my hands extremely greasy, and stretched out a bit. Much better! Took me forever to get clipped back in because I was going straight up it seemed like. I passed NO ONE on the bike…very frustrating. I got passed by EVERYONE. Dropped my chain AGAIN about mile 45. Not cool. Saw Dawn cheering for us right at the Iron Cross. That was so awesome and MUCH NEEDED! Thanks so much Dawn for coming out! Finally I made it back to TA.

T2: 2:11

WTF?! Why so slow?

Run: ???

I did what coach said to do on the bike, and it WORKED! Maybe she knows what she’s talking about. My run felt pretty good. The first mile wasn’t so fun, but after I got loosened up, I was cooking. Probably my fastest longer tri run to date! Yeah, it was hot, and hard, but I felt great all things considered. That is until the clouds rolled in. They looked bad, but I thought “they don’t cancel tris for anything.” Well, I was wrong. The run was kind of a figure 8 and you passed the finish right at the cross. I was coming back after finishing the first half of the run (after about 6 miles?) and they pointed me to the finish chute. I said “no I have another lap!” They said “we’re calling the race for weather, go into the finish”. I was so confused but ran thru. I felt like I just dreamed that it happened. I think my legs were happy to be done, but the rest of me wasn’t! The guy gave me my medal and said “congratulations on finishing a half ironman”…I said “but I didn’t” and walked away. I just kind of stood there in disbelief. As my friends came across the finish, hardly any of them finished, and they were all pissed…including Corky who was crying. It was so disappointing. The worst part is it rained for a few minutes, then let up. The sun came back out! In hindsight, I guess they made the right call because apparently the radar looked pretty bad and KC ended up getting hail and thunder and lightning. Still…very disappointing.

According to the results, I finished 4th in my AG, with a run pace of 5:40 min/mile. Well…I don’t think I could drive that fast, so obviously they just took my run time and put it in for 13.1 miles. Still no word on what they’re going to do about awards, times, etc. It was so nice to race with friends and teammates and to see some of my Kansas people I haven’t seen since last year! Wish I could race with them more often, but this weekend was fun.

That is until I got a flat tire in Festus, MO on the way home…but that’s a whole other story.